"The Penis Song" is a song originally from the film Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and released on the album Monty Python Sings.
In the film, it is sung by Eric Idle at a piano, in the persona of a Noël Coward-style lounge singer.
Beginning by addressing his audience, the singer says "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean", before shifting into the song, which begins "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?" In the course of about 30 seconds, it restates that thought five times, mentioning a dozen euphemisms for "penis", suggests two fanciful coverings for a penis, and ends with a warning against indecent exposure. The euphemisms mentioned are: